Warriors: The Twelve Pains of Christmas
by gamer4
Summary: The cats of Thunderclan have discovered the joys of Christmas... and all the pains that come with it!


Gamer4 in. Well, I have nothing to say here.

Disclaimer: Unfortunately, I don't own Warriors.

Warriors: The Twelve Pains of Christmas

The first thing of Christmas that's such a pain to me:

"Finding a Christmas tree," Firestar muttered, looking through the woods.

The second thing of Christmas that's such a pain to me:

"Rigging up the lights," Dustpelt muttered, somehow trying to put up lights.

"And finding a Christmas tree," Firestar added, so far failing to find a good one.

The third thing of Christmas that's such a pain to me:

"Hangovers," Purdy said, looking up from the catnip he had found.

"Rigging up the lights!" Dustpelt shouted, falling into the box.

"And finding a Christmas tree!" Firestar shouted back, still not finding one.

The fourth thing of Christmas that's such a pain to me:

"Sending Christmas cards," Longtail said, putting paw prints on some cards.

"Hangovers," Purdy said, having found some more catnip.

"Rigging up the lights!" Dustpelt shouted, getting tangled up.

"And finding a Christmas tree!," Firestar said, seeing one on Shadownclan territory.

The fifth thing of Christmas that's such a pain to me:

"Five months of bills," Graystripe said, looking at a pile of random paper.

"Sending Christmas cards," Longtail said, sadly looking at about 12 dozen more.

"Hangovers!" Purdy said, still chewing catnip.

"Rigging up the lights!" Dustpelt shouted, cursing Firestar as he finally got free.

"Finding a Christmas tree!" Firestar said, heading towards Shadowclan.

The sixth thing of Christmas that's such a pain to me:

"Facing my in-laws," Poppyfrost said, pacing around camp.

"Five months of bills!" Graystripe shouted, wondering why _cats _paid bills.

"Oh, I _hate _Christmas cards," mumbled Longtail, signing one to Mistyfoot.

"Hangovers," Purdy said, now rolling in catnip.

"Rigging up these lights!" Dustpelt shouted, accidentally breaking one string.

"Finding a Christmas tree!" shouted Firestar, being taken to Shadowclan camp.

The seventh thing of Christmas that's such a pain to me:

"The salvation army," Berrynose said, not even sure what he was talking about.

"Facing my in-laws," Poppyfrost said, still walking around camp.

"Five months of bills," Graystripe said, still paying several.

"Sending Christmas cards," Longtail said, having been calmed by Mousefur.

"Oh, geez," Purdy said, finally feeling the effects of the catnip.

"I'm trying to rig up these lights!" Dustpelt shouted at a random apprentice.

"Finding a Christmas tree," Firestar said, answering Blackstar's question.

The eighth thing of Christmas that's such a pain to me:

"I WANNA TRANSFORMER!" Ivypaw shouted, with Birchfall looking at her weird.

"Charitable warriors," Berrynose growled, then, realizing something,

"And whatdya mean _YOUR _in-laws?"

"Five months of bills!" Graystripe said, hitting his head against a wall.

"Making out these cards!" Longtail shouted, jumping on them.

"Get me some more catnip, eh, young'n?" Purdy said to Mousefur.

"What, no extension cords?" Dustpelt shouted at Brambleclaw, who stared.

"Finding a Christmas tree!" Firestar shouted, running from Shadowclan.

The ninth thing of Christmas that's such a pain to me:

"Finding parking places," Dovepaw muttered, using her power.

"DADDY, I WANT CANDY!" Ivypaw shouted at a confused Birchfall.

"Donations," muttered Berrynose, thinking of Firestar.

"Facing my in-laws," Poppyfrost said, running around the territory for no apparent reason.

"Five months of bills!" Graystripe said, running into Poppyfrost by the lake, still with bills.

"Writing out $#%^ing Christmas cards!" Longtail shouted, seriously annoyed now.

"Hangovers," Purdy said, still chewing catnip for some reason.

"Now why in Starclan are they blinking?" Dustpelt shouted, breaking two more strings.

"Finding a Christmas tree!" Firestar said, managing to make it back to Thunderclan.

The tenth thing of Christmas that's such a pain to me:

"Running out of fresh-kill," Lionblaze said, finding a mouse that was scared away by Firestar.

"No parking spaces," muttered Dovepaw, looking the old-fashioned way now.

"BUY ME SOMETHIN'!" Ivypaw shouted, seeing Lionblaze hunting.

"Get a job, you bum!" Berrynose shouted, somehow flipping Sol off.

"Oh, facing my in-laws," Poppyfrost said, panicking.

"Five months of bills!" Graystripe yowled as 8 dozen more randomly appeared.

"Yo-ho, sending Christmas cards," Longtail muttered, now bored.

"Oh, geez, look at this!" Purdy said, looking at Jayfeather, who growled.

"One light goes, they ALL go!" Dustpelt shouted, learning this lesson the hard way.

"Finding a Christmas tree!" Firestar yowled, wandering into Twolegplace.

The eleventh thing of Christmas that's such a pain to me:

"Herbs going stale," Jayfeather muttered, trying to find something for Purdy.

"Running out of fresh-kill," Lionblaze mumbled, finally catching something.

"No parking spaces!" shouted Dovepaw out of annoyance.

"I GOTTA GO!" Ivypaw shouted. Mousefur finally snapped.

"Charitable warriors," Berrynose grumbled.

"She's a witch, I hate her!" Poppyfrost said, as Daisy came up behind her.

"Five months of bills!" Graystripe shouted, now buried under bills.

"Half these cats are in other CLANS!" Longtail shouted, looking at the list.

"Where's the dirtplace again, young'n?" Purdy said to Mousefur, who was chasing Ivypaw.

"Someone get a flashlight, I blew a fuse!" shouted Dustpelt, almost strangling himself in lights.

"And finding a Christmas tree!" Firestar said, finally finding one.

The twelfth thing of Christmas that's such a pain to me:

"Singing Christmas carols," Brambleclaw said, looking at the clan going nuts.

"Herbs going stale," Jayfeather muttered, looking for something for Purdy.

"Running out of fresh-kill," Lionblaze muttered just as Purdy puked on his catch.

"No parking?" Dovepaw shouted, though wondering why she'd been looking in the first place.

"WAA! WAA!" Ivypaw shouted, having escaped from Mousefur, who was now attacking Purdy.

"Charitable warriors!" Berrynose said, still thinking about Firestar.

"Got to get them dinner!" Poppyfrost said, looking for fresh-kill for Daisy.

"Five months of bills!" Graystripe shouted, jumping on the impossibly tall pile.

"I'm not sending them this year, that's it!" Longtail shouted, dumping them in the lake.

"Out of my way!" Purdy yowled, running from Lionblaze.

"FINE! YOU'RE SO SMART, _YOU _RIG EM' UP!" Dustpelt shouted at a random Sol.

"And finding a Christmas tree!" Firestar said, proudly coming into camp with Charlie Brown's Christmas tree.

Merry Christmas!

And I mean it. Please R&R, Flames are bad, constructive criticism is fine. Merry Christmas, and Gamer4 out.


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